Dear Deb

**Answering your questions with compassion, not criticism!**

Hello neighbors, Welcome to the very first edition of Dear Deb — a place for real talk, honest questions, and heartfelt advice. Whether you live in Deming, Kendall, Peaceful, or Paradise, or closer to the The Glen or South Fork, only the county roads of our beautiful rural communities separate us. We share more than we sometimes realize: the challenges of raising kids, caring for elders, stretching paychecks, navigating relationships, and staying sane in a world that often feels upside down. In this column, I’ll be answering letters/emails from you — questions about everyday life, hard emotions, family issues, big decisions, or just the things that keep you up at night. I bring my experience as a longtime counselor, a mom, and a local who understands what it means to live out here where the Wi-Fi is spotty but the values run deep. This won’t be polished advice from a far-off expert. It’ll be down-to-earth, practical guidance rooted in kindness, humor, and a belief that people can grow, heal, and find their path forward — no matter how messy things get. Maybe you’re wondering how to talk to your teen who’s suddenly shutting down. Maybe you’re trying to figure out how to forgive someone who hurt you years ago. Or maybe you just need a reminder that you’re not alone. You can write me with a name, or anonymously. I’ll protect your privacy, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll point you to someone who might. Because we’re all still learning. So here we go. Let’s create a space where honesty is welcome, compassion is the norm, and no one has to pretend they’ve got it all figured out. Before I begin replying to letters (which you can send anytime to DearDeb@catchmecoach.com), I want to start with what makes this column different: we’re not here to judge. We’re here to share stories — the wins, the regrets, the hard lessons and little victories that make up a full life. Let’s kick off this column with a question from a worried mom!

.

**_Dear Deb:_** _My daughter is starting the 9th grade on the 27th She has struggled with grades and she is convinced she won't be able to get good enough grades now that they count for her to graduate._ _How do I reassure her when I am actually worried about that being a reality?_ _-Fearing Failure_

**Dear Fearing Failure,** Thank you for writing in, you are not alone! Anticipation of coming events can be unbearable...and worrying about our kids is an ongoing and ever changing type of fear and stress for any parents out there! I can assure you that there are actually some built in supports within the schools that many people don't know about! There are two types of support plans kids can access when they have consistent difficulty with their school work. First step: meet the school counselor your student will be working with. Then, together with your student you three can decide if the problems might be appropriate for a 504 Plan. 504's can support students with plans that communicate to each teacher about specific strategies that will help the student succeed (like longer time taking tests or turning in assignments, break plan for anxiety or emotional issues, 1:1 teacher support, or private area for test-taking). Another well-kept secret is the IEP (individual education plan). ANY parent can request an IEP assessment from the district. Most of all help your kid know you will support them no matter what! Remember we are not alone in this crazy world and lean on each other for support. As we are moving through the busy, stressful, or wonderful moments of each day, we often miss the importance of the little details moving from one person to another, the emotions or energy we share. We don’t talk about these kinds of moments enough — the quiet pride, the heavy guilt, the second-guessing, deep worry, and the unexpected thank-you. But we should. That’s why Dear Deb is here.

Send questions, concerns, or share a story with us to: DearDeb@catchmecoach.com.

.